The Truth About Walking

Walking is easy. You can walk just about any where you want. Sometimes you know where you are going and other times you just set out with no destination in mind. For me I think that most of the time I know where I want to go it is just stay on the correct path to get there. This is the truth about my walk with God and the direction for my life. Some times I feel like I know where I am going and am going on the right path and then something comes along and takes me some where that I never expected to go. As you can tell I have not been blogging in a while due to one of the detours. Anyone that knows me knows that I long for another child and have been unable to carry to term since my son. This consumes me more than I want it to. I had finally came to a place were I felt like I was ok with my life just the way to was and was ok if God blessed me with another child or not. I was happy with my life the way it was. Well, then the detour came. My brothers girlfriend found out that she was pregnant with their unexpected third child. Wow what a blessing for them as I bit my tongue trying not to let the ungodly anger come up again. The twist, they have offered to give this child to me. Wow now I am really scared!! What if they change their minds? What if I change my mind? Am I ready? Do I want this child YES!!! Am I scared YES!!! What am I scared of? I am scared of being out of Gods will for my life. I can't tell you how many times I have heard God tell me don't be like Sara. And I can't tell you how many people have confirmed that very saying. I am scared that if I take the baby it will be out of Gods will and it will not be the blessing that I want it to be and then I am scared that maybe this is my only chance and if I don't take it then I will never have another chance. What if I heard wrong? What does my heart say? Well, that is what I need to figure out. It is hard to get my flesh out of the way so I can hear it. It has caused me to fall away from what should be my true love, GOD. Sometimes I think that is it. I feel like until I can make God the true love an focus of my life nothing else will work. How do I let go of this? I want to move on and live my life for Him and Him alone but it aways seem to come back to this over and over again. The question is what do I do? I think that I know the answer to that but again am to scared to take that step. Pray for me please as I trying to get back on the path that God has made for me and not the enemy.