The Hardest Letter I Have Ever Had To Wright

Ok so this is the letter I will send to my brother. Please read and comment I am open to any suggestion before I send it.


Dear Marc and Rachell,

This is probably that hardest letter I will ever have to wright. First of all I want to tell you that the gift you are offering me is the most amazing gift I could ever ask for and will ever be offered again. I want this child more than you or anyone knows that is why it make this even hard to say. I have decided not to take the baby. I know that you are probably wondering why I did not just call you and tell you this and the reason is this. I want you to really HEAR what I am saying from my heart and I felt that the only way I could do that was to but it on paper. I want this baby! I want it so bad my hands shake and I cry as I write this letter. I feel like I am turning away my last change to ever have another child and it scares me to death! But what has brought me to my decision is God. I hope that the two of you can understand this and you may even think that I am crazy but this is the truth. Through all this miscarriages I have had I have heard God telling me that my child will come, but I have to be patience and wait on Him. I have been waiting 15 years now and I thought that your offer of this child was the answer to that pray but I feel that is not true. I am constantly reminded of Sarah in the bible. If you don't know that story I will share it with you now. Sarah and her husband were promised a child by God and Sarah just became older and older with still no child. She decided that she would let her husband be with the maid servant so that he could have an child. Long story short Sarah did end up having a child but had to go though letting her husband be with another women and see them have child which I can imagine was painful and in the end the pain was unnecessary if she would have just been patience and waited on God. I don't want to be like Sarah. I want to be able to have a child and it be in Gods will. I hope that you can understand what I am say and if not at least respect my decision. This child is a blessing. Maybe he was not planed but he is a blessing and he has a brother and a sister waiting for him when he gets here, along with two parent and grandma and grandpa that will love him as well. I know that this will be a struggle for you but that is what family is for and we will all be here for you. Please don't think either that it is because it was a boy that I am say no because that can't be further from the truth. Boys are great and they sure do love their mothers I would give anything to experience that all over again. I can't tell you how often I look at Cody and wish he was still a little guy running around the house in a towel as a cape. Boys are a joy!! So I hope that you both understand and know how much I love you both for what you have offered me, again it is truly the best gift I could have ever asked for.

Love,
Margie