Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Letting Go and Letting God
I only have a 15 minute drive to work and to most places that I go in town, but man how your mind can wonder in those few minutes. I got another phone call today from my brother about the baby. He called to congratulate me telling me that I was going to be a mom again of a little boy. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! This is driving me crazy what do I do God what do I do!!! So as you can imagine this is what I was thinking tonight as I came home from dinner. It is like I am split down the middle. One part of me is excited and was looking at street sign to see if I saw a name that stood out to me, since my brother asked me what I was going to name him.TORTURE!!!! Then the other part of me is saying hold up, are you sure that this is what Gods wants you to do? Yes He might let you but that does not mean that it is His will. I can only pray that if it is not His will that He will shut it down and they will change their minds but something is telling me that this is a test to see if I really want His will or my will. I wish that I could just fast forward to the end of this story and this would all be over. Maybe it could be over tomorrow if I would listen to God and tell them that I can not take the baby? I need your prays, I know that is what He is telling me but I just can't bring myself to say the word! Why can't I just trust God and REALLY believe what He told me without doubting and move on!! I am so tired just really tired. I am sure that most of the people around me are tired of hearing me talk about it too, at least that is the way feel. I mean I am always saying how stupid it is not to trust the God of the whole world, the ruler of everything so why is it so hard? I guess it all comes down to fear and letting go of something honestly I never had control over.
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Sweetie, it is hard because you are talking about giving up something that you have really wanted for a long time now.
ReplyDeleteI know that this isn't necessarily helpful in this moment, but God didn't promise us that it wouldn't be hard...He promised us that He would help us and guide us and give us strength even when we think we can't do that thing we know He is calling us to do.
I'm praying for you. I love you.
Well first howdy Tracie sent me over. Secondly I think that if we didn't have a fear about where God was taking us then it wouldn't be God. Does that make sense?? If we are absolutely certain 100 percent of the time then we are not stepping out of our comfort zone and into the place God has called us to be... Lifting you in prayer for the strength to do what it is He is placing before you..
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